Memories

When I was  young, a 21/22 year old (1992), at the end of my summer inter-railing through Europe, I happenend upon a chapel in Italy. I remember wanting to go inside and feeling a sense of belonging, so inside I went. I was a bit dubious about leaving my rucksack with tent and all belongings at the front of the chapel, but it seemed wrong to bring it into the main area (I've no idea what it's called) with me. I sat at one of the front rows and I prayed. For many things, but mainly for a better life and to be a better person, and forgiveness for the wrongs I'd done. I'd made many mistakes and sometimes hadn't the courage to stand up for what I wanted, or what I believed to be true, so I prayed. I cried. The priest came close to me and saw the tears on my face. I felt embarrased, but relieved that there was a language barrier, so I didn't have to pour out my thoughts to him (at the same time feeling envy for the confessional boxes). I felt lighter, free'er and happy that my belongings were still there at the entrance to the chapel. I forgave myself. Life is for living and learning. I sometimes forget, but remembering always brings that 21/22 year old girl back to me and the realisation that I am enough and everything is ok. We do the best we can at that particular time and place, and that's ok. If only I had the knowledge then that I do now. What I could say to make it better. That's the beauty of life and living.